The Occasional Hint Of Truth

getting ready

2009-03-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm going over to Danny's tonight, to just chill and listen to music, and probly write some too, cause we always do.

"My hands are tied I'm hanging loose
But the gallows ain't as bad as they say
I couldn't and I wouldn't chose
To leave this time and walk away"

No I won't dream girl, winter screamer.

I don't know.

2009-03-29T17:10:00.001-07:00

This time I actually have no idea of what I'm gonna write about what so ever. Funny.

Let me tell you about this dream I had last week. Only fragments remain now, I've been really bad at keeping the dream journal these last weeks, for several reasons, I should start again fresh because it's interesting, and something I should keep in check.
Anyways, there is a girl I want to meet, and sometimes it feels like a total impossibility, that it's just never gonna happen, that I'm gonna sit around here forever without money and get to nowhere.

But last week I met her.
Sometimes your sub-conscious can give you little gifts. Wrapped up in colors which dreams almost always are, and full of weird elements and details which totally not make sense.
And as usual, things didn't make sense a 100 %, the people present were weird. But there were two of us that stayed the same.
First I didn't recognize her at all, I know that I knew that I somehow was to meet her, but I didn't know what she would look like, or how it would be. Or even if I'd even recognize her.
She came in with braided hair, not really her, but she suddenly transformed, literally, as she came closer, and became this amazingly beautiful revelation, just out of nowhere.
And I was just so happy and relaxed, it was great.
So then she came up to me, smiled, and handed me plane tickets... for me to come and see her again.

Then I can't remember anymore, but I am glad to have met her, in a way. Thank you sub-conscious.
And now I actually know how her voice sounds and all too, and that's great.
a wall climbed.

---

I'd also like to give some tips on music i've been listening to lately, if anyone is interested:

I've been listening a lot, and I mean A LOT, to Mr Howie Day.

He has made a lot of quality songs, very beautiful and sensitive.
His best song Ghost, I like THIS live version, it's by far the best. The arrangement which he builds up just by himself is way better than the studio version (that is very very beautiful also, though). There are some vocal, especially vocal, but also instrumental moments in this recording that just is above any other of his recorded versions of this song. The variations in the drum beat also are very important and unique to these live performances of the song. Just listen and enjoy, it's very enjoyable.

Another recent musical discovery of mine is Mr Oren Lavie.

I first heard him on the Jimmy Kimmel show, where he performed his most beautiful song Her morning elegance, which you can listen to HERE. A little trivia concerning him as that he did an instrumental song for the latest Narnia movie, with prince Caspian, which was wonderful.

Lately I have also been listening to the beautiful music of The Wreckers.

They are two girls doing pop country music just the way I like it, well played with lots of beautiful harmonies. THIS is a bluegrassy version of song they usually do more pop styled, which also was on the One tree hill road mix cd, which I discovered about a year ago, and also recommend.
Every song on it is very good, except for the awful one by flippin Lupe Fiasco. It's horrible, and no one should like it, because its awful.

Also I've been listening a lot to Queens of the stone age. That's a science by now in my life, so I won't venture into that now, in this post. I'll make it simple and recommend the so far best song I've heard with them, the amazing In the fade. Just listen to it and get swept away.

Take care. and a special take care to The Night Fairy Little Vampire.

+12, and classical music.

2009-03-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

12 days since I wrote last. Amazing how time just flies.
Tonight I had some really strange dreams, it was almost in the wake, I was half awake and I still saw the dream world, but couldn't do anything about it, though. I just went with the flow.
I got to meet some people that i havn't met, but maybe I will, depending on some things.
Right now I'm really tired. I've been writing this essay on the renaissance, comparing Phédre by Racine with Hamlet by Willy Shakez. Interesting but mind-emptying.

But what i really want to say something about in this post is classical music.
Up to know I've never got into that, never sat down and listened, even thought of it as pretty boring. But last week we had a guest professor in our class, who talked about baroque music and composers. It was really interesting, and he finished by telling us to really sit down and listen to some of the concerts composed at that time.
So yesterday I thought I'd do it.
So I searched for Johann Sebastian Bach on Spotify, and got a huuge amount of hits. I selected a recording with piano variations.
Clicked play, and just listened. I didn't do anything but just listen and let myself venture into the music which was being played.

And it was mind blowing.
Almost from the first note I was paralyzed. I was so beautiful, so perfect, so interesting, that i couldn't stop listening, I couldn't even let it go and do something else. I was truly paralyzed by the music.
So I listened to the whole concert, just enjoying it with every inch of my body. It was like some kind of drug, with the first high that's amazing. Thing is, with classical music you can get that first high again, and again which makes it different.
So I listened some more during the evening, just feeling totally relaxed and bedazzled by the music.
I felt every note, every tone, and they almost spoke. Late last night, around 2 am, i decided to try something. I plugged in my phones, put on the piano concert again, opened my notebook, and just started writing.
And the words just flowed... I wrote about 3 song lyrics in 10 minutes. It was unbelievable.
And every word I wrote was coloured by the mood of the music I was listening to, cause it sets you in a state where you just transform the notes into words. and thats what happened with me, and thats what I did.

Then i got to bed, calm relaxed.
Today I had to continue on this essay I'm writing, so I decided to once again put on a concert of string variations by Bach, which I also did.
It all went really good until I reached the singing part, the soprano...
Then everything just fell apart.

I just started crying, because it was so beautiful, and it just totally opened up my soul, the very core of me... And I started feeling things, things about my family, my grandpa, my life, and everything. and I couldn't stop crying...
I was just totally broken down for I don't know how long.
And believe me, I dont cry often, very very seldom.

I've never had that experience with music before. I mean, there are songs that move me sooo deep, but this was something else; it opened me up, touched a nerve in me that I didn't know existed, and made me crack open.
I think it hit right in my sub-conscious, somewhere it was needed, because it didn't feel bad or hard... it felt good.
This whole experience was just one big Katharsis for me.

So all I can do now is to recommend you, my dear reader, to listen to the music of the ancient times. Maybe it will work some kind of miracle in your world too, as it did for me.

Love
M.

On death.

2009-03-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

Monday night my grandfather took his last breaths. He had been ill for 7 years after his stroke, and had been living at a home for elderly for all the time between then and now.
So, me and my dad rushed down in the middle of the night 300 miles south of where we live, to see him for the last time, and to support my grandma.

With this very fresh in mind I thought I'd share some reflections on death , and my hope of that not being the end of our existance, so please feel free to keep reading.
---
I would first like to share some things about my grandpa, who he was and what he has done.
My grandfather, Per, was born 1920 in Skåne, Sweden. He grew up in a big family with many brothers and sisters.
When he got older he thought of seeking his luck at sea, which he also did, and took the job as a Steward on a big ship.
He then sailed all over the world: Africa, Asia, America, and Europe. He had amazing experiences, a lot that we really would call adventures today... He was stabbed, chased by thugs, and even caught Malaria when visiting Africa.
But he managed to get back to sweden safe and sound, and left the sea life when my dad was born.
Back in sweden he worked as a chef for many many years, until he retired.
He had an amazing life,

but what I really want to say is: He was also a truly amazing person.
He never put himself first, he was kind and caring, but not in any way weak.
He knew what he had to do, and he did it.
He was a great father, and a great grandfather, a rock.
And he will be missed by many, for a long time.

But in our imperfect state of existence death, unfortunately, is a part of life,
and this was grandpa's last stop.
He had been, as I said, sick for a very long time, and he just didn't have the strength to fight anymore.
He was almost 90 years old, that's older than most people get. And he was thankful for these last years, and we were also, even though it wasn't easy for him. Bu he wanted to stay alive, so he did, until yesterday.

So me and dad arrived at his apartment in the elderly home, and that was the first time I've seen a dead body. It wasn't as I had expected. I mean, I've seen thousands on TV, but this was nothing like it.
What I felt is that this was the shell of grandpa. He is dead, and right now he is non-existent, and that was the shell of him lying there. But it was not at all creepy of scary, it was just seeing him for the last time in this order, remembering him for the wonderful man he was.
I will not dwell on that experience right now, though.

What I'd like to share is some reflections on the state he actually is in now, and also what I believe awaits.
As I said, right now he is non-existent, his soul isn't out there somewhere, hasn't lived on, isn't on it's way south or towards heaven. It doesn't exist anymore.
So, what is the soul?
When we are born we recieve a spark, a fire from God, that is the fire that keeps our body functioning, the strength that keeps us alive, and that is what goes out when we draw our last breath.
That's what it is. The spark of life, given to us by our God.
It wasn't supposed to die in the beginning.
It was supposed to be an eternal flame, but Adam and Eve destroyed that, fooled by Satan.
We were left in an imperfect state, and our soul the same way. We were to go out together, our soul and our bodies, thank's to that.
And one cannot in any way blame God for that. It was not His intention. He is the definition of goodness, but he also gave man free will, which she mis-used, mis-led by Satan.
And from that day on death became a part of life. We started to have an end, not an eternity to look forward to. Thank's to man and Satan.
So right now we might just accept it, it's what it is.

But does the soul live on?
As I said, it does not. It is a flame, and flames die.
But, in a way it is not the end either.
There is a place in the universe that is safer than ANY other place. A place that is unlimited in size, and can never be filled, and we cannot in any way grasp the greatness of it:

God's memory.
Right now, Grandpa is in God's memory, he is kept safe there until the day.
What day?
The day of resurrection.
God WILL put an end to all evil in this imperfect world, he will remove sickness, woe, pain, and even death. It will disappear.
And after he has done that, and the earth is peaceful and clean, people from all through history -believers, unbelievers who hasn't heard of God's word, people from everywhere- will be resurrected, and once again see the light of day. They will see the beautiful light of God shine down and help us transform this earth into the paradise it once was. God's presence will be so real, we will feel His helping hand, and he will be our leader forever.
Grandpa will be one of those people, and I hope that I will be there too, to see him again, young and healthy, and with a face of astonishment, when he understands that we told him the truth.
And with his skills in construction and handy ways, he will also be a part of the cleaning of the earth and building up a new home.
And we will live together in peace, with the light of our God Jehovah and Saviour Jesus Christ guiding us.

It is not just a hope for me, it is reality.
Faith is what matters. Faith has me convinced, and there is not one doubt in my mind. I am sure of who God is, what his purposes are, and that they WILL come true.

In this time of grief I am also rejoycing... Grandpa is safe, and his memory and future life in the care of God, He who is love.

See you in paradise, Grandpa.

//Emm.

Sleep paralyzis and how one can deal with it

2009-03-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

For some years back I've been experiencing a very strange and terrifying phenomenon. This was long before I started reading up on the science of sleep and dreaming. But when I did, I finally got an answer to what it was.
This is what I experienced:

This started somewhere in the middle of high school. After a day at school I would come home, put on the TV and just lay down on the couch to watch and relax... After some time I would start to feel sleepy (of course, who wouldnt), so I'd lower the volume and close my eyes.
But instead of going to sleep I started experiencing my body shutting down, but my mind still aware of what was happening.
I couldnt move any part of my body, the only thing I could do was to, with all my power, focus on opening my eyes, which I eventually did.
This phenomenon, which for a long time really freaked me out, I later identified as Sleep paralyzis.

Even though it might seem very unnatural and weird, sleep paralyzis is ABSOLUTELY necessary, and happens every night when we go to sleep.
Sleep paralyzis is our bodies way of protecting us when we enter the dream world.
Imagine if our body would keep moving while we were unconscious and dreaming, maybe a very vivid and action packed dream; we would hurt ourselves, or fall out of bed.
So sleep paralyzis happens as soon as we fall asleep.
But sleep paralyzis takes place on the border between being awake and being asleep, and therefore one can actually experience it happening.
This is known to happen more frequently during for example afternoon naps, and when one is to "take a rest".
Then the scenario I described before can take place.

When one starts to go into sleep paralyzis, and still is aware and conscious, things can take a frightening turn (which they did with me). This is totally normal, though, and scientifically confirmed many times.
So, as soon as that happens, you enter a/the hypnogogic state, and thats when it becomes scary.
During the hypnagogic state, right in between being awake and asleep, you're halfway into the dreamworld, so your brain starts working on creating the dream scape of your subconsious, but because you're still conscious you see, and most of all HEAR it happening.
It is very normal to experience shaking, loud buzzing and noises, shapes of different kinds and colours, when in this state.
This can be very terrifying, and you feel like you've lost all control of the situation, you feel trapped in your own body, surrounded by scary noises and shapes.

This is not a nice state to be in, so you probably want to get out of it as fast as possible.
So here are some tips on how to control this eerie situation.
First of all, knowing what it is, that it actually is just the natural step that your body takes between wake and sleep, makes you more calm, and aware if it should occur.
What you should do when you enter the hypnogogic state, to quickly get out of it, either by falling asleep or waking up is just RELAX... don't focus on it, just try to be as calm as possible, and it will solve itself. Although it is a natural state, we are not supposed to be aware of what's happening, so you'll have to help yourself if you get into this state, by just relaxing instead of freaking out.
I've done this, and it works. Most of the time you wake up nice and quiet, and then fall asleep for real. (This can repeat itself several times, though, especially during afternoon naps, so be prepared)
A note on this: Many people practicing Lucid dreaming use this state to head straight into a lucid dream. This is called a WILD (wake-induced lucid dream). By waiting it out, for example by counting your breaths, you head straight into the dream world aware and lucid, and can start creating your own dream.

BUT, this is NOT something I recommend.
I personally do not practice Lucid dreaming, and don't think that anyone should experiment with these altered states of consciousness through wake-induction in any way, it is one a very fine line of what is alright and not.
But that of course is my opinion.

So, I hope you've learned something through this post about Sleep paralyzis, when it can occur, and what to do when it does. Please feel free to comment and give me feedback.

Take care.
Emm.

Keys to a great dream recall.

2009-03-04T05:30:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned before I am interested in the science of dreams and dreaming.
I am a collector of dreams, and therefore keep a dream journal.
I thought I'd give fellow dreamers out there some tips on getting a good dream recall going, and what you shouldnt do if you want to remember your dreams properly.

First of all: Everybody dreams every night, whether we remember it or not.
As soon as our body enter R.E.M (Rapid eye movement), which always happens, we are living in the dreamworld, our eyes moving rapidly, but the rest of our body of course paralyzed (that's another interesting subject I will write more about later) and still, so we dont fall out of bed or hurt ourselves.
Often our dreams can be almost epic, and we can experience incredible things in our dreamworld, that we'll never get the chance to experience IRL.
So for me, entering the dreamworld is entering another reality, lucid or not (I don't practice lucid dreaming, which some dreamers do, I settle with remembering. If lucidity was to occur its nothing I've aimed for), and I've had amazing storys unfolded in my head while in a dream.

But, to remember ones dreams there are a couple of steps to take, some techniques that can be used.
First of all, the most basic aid/tool of them all: Keeping a dream journal. Collecting your dreams in a dream journal will help you to be more focused on remembering. I read through my old dream journal yesterday... And the patterns were so clear, it was amazing. I really wasnt enjoying my job at the time, so almost all of my dreams took place at my job, they were full of confusion, and almost always ended up with me doing something wrong.
Our subconscious is very active, and in the dream world it adresses our problems and worries, whether we are aware of them or not.
An important note on the location of your dream journal: It needs to be in a fixed place, so you a l w a y s know where it is. There shouldnt be worries about that ever... your dream journal becomes a part of the environment, and you always know where to find it.
You also need a book that you like for your journal, not just a regular notepad
or something really small. No, you should get a nice big book, that is You. Cause these are your dreams, your night time reality, its big. This is the book I use, and I love it:

Preparation: This is the bit where I totally suck: Going to bed in good time, so you get at least 6-8 hours of good sleep. I've found that going to bed between 11 pm and midnight is the perfect time. when I do that I almost always remember and have between 2-4 dreams that night. And thats good.
When you go to bed you need to have your dream journal close... part for just its presence, and you knowing that when you wake up you'll be able to just write your dreams down instantly, and part because, well, thats what you really need to do. And that leads us to step number two:

Instantly when you wake up after a dream, epic or small, no matter what time at night, you need to write it down.
But of course thats not really fun... so here's what I do:
Next to my dream journal, in which I want my handwriting to be readable, and descriptions and analyzis thorough, I have a smaller book; My scribble book.
Every night I put my pen at a new blank page, so its really accessible... and as soon as I wake up from a dream I just grab the pen and scribble down some keywords.
Like for example, say that my dream involves me playing guitar at the top of a building i just scribble down:

Guitar
top of building
fun (always add the emotions you feel)

And here's whats important: Even though you tell yourself "I'll remember it tomorrow", WRITE IT DOWN ANYWAY, cause 95% of the times you won't remember it. that's happened to me so many times that I've learned, just write some keywords down.
And then, when you wake up in the morning, view them... And when you've remember as much of the dream as you can, write it down in your dream journal.
Sometimes even when you wake up in the middle of the night, right from a dream, it can be hard to recall it, so here's what you should do:

Just relax, close your eyes, and focus on remembering, cause as soon as you get a fragment or a glimpse, the other pieces will fall into place.
magic :-)

Supplement:
Another supplement you can use before you go to bed, and when you wake up in the middle of the night, and want to keep dreaming, is Autosuggestion.
What you want to do is tell yourself over and over again:

"Tonight I'm gonna remember my dreams"... and repeat that for at least 5 minutes before you go to bed, and really focus on it. You dont have to tell yourself to dream, because that you WILL do, whether you like it or not.
And that you can also do when you wake up and want to keep dreaming very vividly, just keep focusing on that, and tell yourself
"I'm gonna remember my dreams"

Eventually you'll fall asleep, but the Autosuggestion technique will have worked its magic, so when you wake up, your mind is still aware of that, and focused, and you WILL get a better dream recall.

Ok, so those are some techniques, tips and hints you can use to work on your dream recall.
The dream world is waiting for you :-)
Just dive in!

//Emm.

Emm's music.

2009-03-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Hello, dear reader.

As I mentioned in my second post on this blog, my number 1 passion in life is music. Making it, writing it, singing it, playing it, listening to it, living it, being it... and the list goes on and on.
Music, on many levels, is a way of life for me. The question "what music do you like" always pops up when I meet new people, haha, because its a really important question.
You can get a pretty good picture of a person quickly if you know what music he/she listens to, if they care about music, or maybe are totally uninterested (I pity those who are, though).

I'd like to give you a little introduction to what kind of music I make , what I'm working on at the moment, and what I've done in the past.

I should make this clear right now: I am not in any way genre- or style bound when it comes to music. I listen to everything from swedish folk music to metal.
If it's good it's good, just as simple as that.

My musical history:
I started playing the saxophone when I was in second grade, at the tender age of 8 and played til I was 14.
My dad bought me my first electric guitar and amp when I was 13, and then it all began. I learned to play it on my own, "with a little help from my friends", and soon started writing my own songs.
This is funny: In music class we started playing the Springsteen song Hungry heart, with me on guitar, and we were supposed to play it live at an event at school. We called our little band "The high school street band" (As in the e-street band), haha. Hilarious!
But that got really boring, so I quit before the gig was supposed to take place.
And with a couple of my friends I started a rock band, Cardinal Cecily. We played and wrote original songs with funny titles such as "dogs, girls and guns", with really funny lyrics (they were cool at the time, and were totally serious) and a pre-pubertal punk rock junior high sound, haha.

That band changed name several times: Coffeecop, The Phoneys, Crucified Steven (horrible, I know), Goodyear, something I cant remember, and then I quit, because It wasnt fun anymore.
I then started playing with a friend of mine named Kajsa Wallin. We started making cozy acoustic pop music, with harmonies and stuff, mostly based on Kajsas beautiful lyrics, and my music. The song Badland sky, which you can listen to on THIS PAGE is from the Stolen from a store period. :-)

Years went by with a frequent couple of shows every year and the occasional new song. Then I met Martin, Viktor, and Johan my senior year at high school, and we started playing together as The Sonora Turnbacks... We were supposed to be playing country music, but ended up in some kind of progressive rock thingy. you can listen to two of our songs with two very different sounds HERE, and HERE. It was a really fun period of music making, with a lot of new influenced, and a lot of playing with my fellow talented musicians in the band.
But, that ended too... disagreements in music and opinions, sadly.

By that time I had just med Jonas Domeij from Örnsköldsvik on a festival I was playing at with Sonora.
It turned out to be the meeting of a lifetime, and we found ourselves being musical soulmates.
We sat up severeal nights in a row playing blues and folk music... and I also played with him on one song on the big stage when he did his performance at the festival. It was amazing.
So there began an era that still goes on. We lived very far from each other, so we didnt get the chance to meet up very often. But we did for a music festival in Västerås, where I now live, and played there as Western Valley Reunion. We got signed for another gig after the show, and during the time in between we changed our band name to Hyde & Jones (John Hyde and M Jones, thats us), you can listen to our very lo-fi but cool recordings HERE.
Then Jonas moved to London (where he currently resides), and I found myself alone with my guitar.
I had a few smaller projects, but nothing that really happened.
Until I came back to Västerås. :-)
Earlier me and Jonas collaborated with songwriter Danny FitzPatrick, and now the collaboration is on again, we're writing songs together, and also are recording them at the moment. THIS is one of the songs we've written together.

And I've got an active band again, with Danny's daughter, we're Little Secrets, THIS is our myspace, that hopefully soon will house some of our country/pop kind of songs.

So, thats whats going on right now, recording with Little Secrets, and producing songs with Danny. Maybe you'll hear one of them on the radio some day.

take care
emm.

Memory lane.

2009-02-28T17:49:00.000-08:00

Today I was at mom and dad's because my brother had a floorball game (which they won 6-9), and me and mom went for a long walk in the winter forest with their dog.
We often do that, and have long chats about everything between heaven and earth. Its just a really soothing way of sharing, with the calm of the quiet forest, with only the crunch of the snow under our boots, and our voices breaking the silence.
I love those walks.

Today we adressed a subject which I dont think about very often anymore... something half-forgotten and evil:
My past in Hörby (a small town in the middle of Skåne (southern sweden).
A lot happened in Hörby, a lot that shaped me to the person I am today.
Here's a small briefing on what happened:
I moved to Hörby in the first place because I fell in love with a girl I was certain I was gonna spend the rest of my life with, B. In the beginning everything was great... for the first 4,5 months... but then things started to get messed up. We disagreed on a lot of things, important things, and on our vacation to Italy for 3 weeks all hell broke lose.
It ended in drama and disaster (at least it felt like that for a long time), and on the last night there we broke up for real, and my world kinda fell apart. Not because I was in love with her, that faded pretty quick considering her behaviour and qualities (she was of a different opinion, and I do respect that), but because things changed radically and rapidly when we got home to Hörby again.
This is, of course, highly subjective, very my point of view. and this post is not to upset someone else (even if it might), this is just my story, my thoughts and the aftermath. right now I am just honest.
Thing is, her family was a huuuge part of my world, and all my social outlet was generated through our pretty small circle... I was one with her family, and they WERE my social outlet. But when we got home things changed. They, as I felt it, turned their backs on me right away, hardly even said Hi when we met at the meetings with the congregation (yes, we were of the same belief also, which makes it even more difficult considering that I was new in the congregation, and they'd been there forever and ever), her brother which I considered to be a true friend of mine wasnt really interested anymore.
I was really just a young pretty confuzed boy, but that probably got totally forgotten in the shade of the intense events that took place around that time.
I got in huge fights with her mother, who didnt dare to call me, but texted me (pathetic, to be honest).
And for the topping of the new-baked Mikael cake: I got fired from my job because I stood up for myself when my boss insulted me.

Man, that was intense... so much happened in such a short period of time. My mom got sick in cancer a little while after my return from Italy, a total chock for our family, but we stayed strong and were together all the way.
But I say that without the love and holy spirit of our heavenly father Jehovah that would never have been possible.
Knowing that we have a hope larger than life makes me, and at the time my mom, not fear death. If one should die in this system of things, it is merely a transport to paradise, and the awakening of one-self and millions of others that deserve to know that "Yes, what was said was true, this IS the new order, God's new order".
Amen to that, and praise God and Jesus for their aid in our time of need.

So I moved back home... depressed and under a thick layer of black ice, but at least I was alive, and mom was alive, and our family was together.
I dwelt on horrible thoughts for a long period of time, i dwelt on anger, I wanted them to understand how they had hurt me, and how much I hated them.
But that passed, it did... because I told myself to rise above all that, to be a better person than that, than I thought they were.
So I dropped it, I decided to stay alive, be alive, and be a servant of God.

And If by chance someone from that time happens to read this, because you never know, this I say to you:
-"I have no anger against you, i wish you no harm or anything like that, we are in the end brothers and sisters.

But I do pity you.

---

Today's aftermath:
So, we discussed this, me and Mom today, we brought it up again. It didnt feel good, not at all, but I accept it as a part of my past, and it has shaped me to be the person I am today; much more balanced and focused on good things, true things, and things of true weight.

Blessings to all of you people, search your true and kind hearts to find peace.
And remember: We are never alone. Search and you shall find.
And a "thank you" to my mother for everything,
I am and always will be your biggest fan. I love you!

//Miken.

dream journal pt 2.

2009-02-26T06:50:00.000-08:00

Oh my, last nights dreamscape was close to epic.
I had 3 dreams, and two of them are almost completely clear to me, I remember almost everything from them.
The first one, which I will call "the search for Marie" felt like a documentary... which my dreams often do.
A lot of the dreamscape gave me flashes from old dreams, often involving travelling. Open fields, dusty roads and forests.
the whole first (and greatest) part of the dream revolved around me and the love of my life (she seemed to be), that resembled a girl from my past, lets call her Marie, and our travels.
It felt like a walk down memory lane, which in the end became the now, and reality.

First, we were biking up a hill, a mountain road, and she was at just a small strip of road reaaally close to the edge of the mountain, and she was steering her bike with one hand, and in the other she had another bike with our luggage.
I wanted to help her, so I got up close to her, and grabbed the other end of the handle... but that didnt work either, and we started head towards the wall on the other side of the road, where she fell and somehow hit a hole in the mountain, where there was an underground river... it was full of dirt and wood and stuff, and I couldnt get her out of it, so she went with the stream, and called to me that she probably would find another way down where the river ended. I believed her...
But I never saw her again.
Another memory came forth, me running down a trail packed with green snakes, which I identified as king cobras. there were scientists everywhere, studying the snakes, and I jumped past them... when I got to the bottom of the hill, i slowed down, and got bit several times by snakes... but I had an antidote with me, which I just poured on the wound instantly, and nothing more happened.

After this I went through to the next phase of the dream, where my search began.
I was drenched in sorrow, and traveled all around the world in search of marie. Several times I saw her in the distance in some kind of angelic shape, but it was just imagination, cause when I got there it was always someone else.
This kept on for some time, and finally I ended up at what seemed to be my home, and the dream ended.

this description doesnt even come close to describing the actual feelings of loss that I felt...
She was my soulmate, and i really felt that. I felt like ELizabeths father in the historian by Elizabeth kostova, when he heads off to search for Helen, Elizabeths mother.
It was very intense and powerful.

Are things gonna happen the way we think?

2009-02-23T16:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight me and a friend of mine were talking about revelations (yes, the bible book), and he presented a really interesting theory to me. it was about the sequence of events before God's final day of reckoning. Maybe it will not be exactly as we have pictured it to be...
And if it isnt, that will become a final trial, right?!
Who will then hold on, and still believe?
I am relieved to have had this talk, and to have been made aware of the possibility of this happening. that makes me even stronger, and IF that happens, I will know why.

Thank God for insights.

todays meeting and a little on the science of dreams and dreaming.

2009-02-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

Hello folks.
Today I went to town with Danny, Birgitta, and David after a wonderful meeting, where we got even more important insights around the whole being of Jesus Christ.
Today's study was an analysis on Jesus role as: Gods only-begotten son, the Mediator, the Amen, the High Priest, and the promised Seed.
It was amazing, and a whole lot of new insights, and how we actually can be a "so be it" to Gods promises by imitating Jesus.
Wow.

Then we had thai food at Spicy downtown, and then we took a trip to the book shop, where they also have a lot of stationary.
I bought a new notebook inspired by the writings of shakespeare. really beautiful. Its gonna serve as my dream journal. Inspiring. (picture below)

Last night I had two interesting dreams. The first one a little more mundane, but involving Katy Perry, which was nice. Often, meeting people in the dream world can be much more satisfying than meeting people in real life.
Thats why I like dreams and the science of dreaming.
Thats why I actively practice dream recall and try to balance my sleeping habits.
I also believe that understanding the basics of the -lets call it, because it is- science of dreams and dreaming can help you get to know yourself better as a person, and understanding and identifying elements of the unconscious, which actually is very present in our lives, and by night it does its thing. Also conquering re-appearing nightmares, which can occur, and does for a lot of people.
I personally know people who have conquered their nightmares through pure will power in the waking life, and then also becoming aware of that in the dream world, and by that knowing what to do to conquer the problem in the dream.

The first dream isnt really very interesting, and details would just be waste of space.
Instead I would like to tell you about my dream number 2.
Its not very long, and occured in the morning, somewhere between 9.00 and 10.00, I would say it played out in less that 9 minutes, because i was on snooze at the time, and thats only 9 minutes.

anyways, the dreamscape was some kind of madagascar like island on the coast of sweden, that doesnt exist... it was me, B, Jen, and my brother in a boat without engine or anything to rowe with, but still it went forward in a good course.
There were mountains on the sides, and on them hung large plumes (like peacock tails) of flowers, beautiful in purple, pink, red, and yellow. I pointed that out in the dream.
All through the dream I tried to remember the name of the place, but none of us could.
We found the shore, a small beach with warm white sand, surrounded by cliffs. we went ashore and started discussing where we were, still none of us could remember the name of the place, which was very interesting.
Suddenly my brother decides that we should move on, and sail to poland (haha), but I dont want to. so he, B, and Jen decide to sail off, in the boat without any equipment what so ever. When they head off into the horizon, a melody starts to play in my head, an amazing beautiful melody. i can hear it, along with piano chords accompanying it masterfully.
I'm excited, because I've never heard anything like it before.
I'm enjoying myself, and I'm trying to master and remember the melody, but suddenly it stops... no sound... nothing.
I'm devastated.

Suddenly a man from my last job (Hussein) comes from nowhere. Apparently theyre building an assembly hall in the area. he says that I easily can get home from here, and "find someone to compete with". and then I wake up.

The bit i dont understand is the last one... but it had something to do with that weird melody in my head.
I'm gonna have to try to recall it better.

anyways.
take care.
and as always
beware

Dream Journal pt 1

2009-02-21T07:05:00.000-08:00

thought it'd be fun to post some of my dreams. So I'm starting this series of Dream Journal posts. Read about Stephen LaBerge's theories on dreaming yesterday, and got inspired to maping some of them again. Not in a really dedicated way, but patterns are always interesting, dont you think?
last night I had the weirdest dream, but I can't remember it right now. thats why one needs to keep a dream journal.
i have to remember that, and also go to sleep earlier.
I'm always up too late at night.

Gonna make me some dinner now.
take care, and always beware.

m.

Post rock as in post exam.

2009-02-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my, it went soo well!
I nailed all the questions. And it feels so good to be done with that, and to know that I'll at least pass. love that feeling.
I compared Sapfo and Catullus, de Meung with Chauser on love, and answered a lot of other interesting questions.

Just hope my professors think that what I had to say was something of value too.

take care, folks.

The honorary title.

2009-02-18T16:27:00.000-08:00

I've got a written exam tomorrow at 8.30, which I really hope I'm gonna totally conquer.
Its an overview on the literature of the antique and the medieval times.
Fun stuff, ey.
But I've really enjoyed this course, its amazing, and my professors are really talented, so Its been a pleasure.
Next course is about the renaissance, baroque, and french classicism.

I'll post tomorrow on how it went.

take care, and wish me luck.
night night.

News.

2009-02-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

the quadrilogy will be somewhat delayed... I have a lot to do, and its a lot of work.
But I will be posting on other subjects regularly.

I want to make a quick comment on saturday's tv scandal numero uno-
The swedish melodifestival (melody grand prix).
Finally, F I N A L L Y when theres a good song, a truly GREAT song, the idiot peoples of sweden dont vote it through. It annoyed the hell out of me, and it still does. I voted 4 TIMES.

You can check out the fantastic group of three beautiful girls called Cookies & Beans right Here. Do it!
The songs name was What if, and it rocked!

My favourite is Frida Öhrn. I just truly love her.
I would marry her if she wanted to.

Take care, and Frida, yes I do love you.

//m.
So, this day my love goes to Frida Öhrn and her band.

Heads up for my upcoming quadrilogy on the trinity!

2009-02-14T03:57:00.000-08:00

Hello folks!
This is just a heads up for my upcoming quadrilogy on the mystery of the trinity.
I will in these four posts point out why the trinity is a false teaching, and that it has its origins not in christianity and service of the true God, but from heathen nations such as Babylon and Egypt.

I will focus on four main issues:

First the history, and its rough path to and from Nicaea more than 300 years after Jesus was born, and the acceptance of it today.

Second the Fathers role; who is He? Is he equal to Jesus in might and power? is he a part of an almighty trinity, or is he in fact the One and ONLY almighty God?

Third the Son's role; Is he also God almighty? Or is he God almighty's son firstborn creation and master worker, ruling king of God's kingdom, appointed and annointed by his Father, Jehovah, not equal to Him, but a reflection of His qualities and His goodness for us to know more about God by Jesus' example as intended by God almighty, Jehovah?

Fourth the holy spirit's role. Is the holy spirit a person and a part of an almighty trinity, and an equal to the Father and the Son in might, power and holiness?
Or is the holy spirit God's active force, which He used to perform miracles in the ancient times, to inspire the writers and prophets of the Bible, and also to guide His followers today?

These are four interesting topics, and I will try to bring as much clarity to it as possible, and make it understandable.

I will try to post the first part as soon as possible.
take care, dear readers and fellow scholars.

//m.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you"
-Matthew 7:7-

2009-02-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

Before I really start off this blog, and the purpose of it, I want to set some things straight, tell you a little about who I am, what I believe in, and what I'm aiming for.

My name is Mikael, I'm 22 years old in July, and I'm currently studying literature at a college here in Sweden. My main interests in life are music and literature, arts and history.
I play guitar, banjo, harmonica, mandolin, and piano, and write my own songs. I have two bands, one with my dear friend Jonas as Hyde & jones (listen), and one with my friend Kessia, as Roisin Dubh. Currently I'm working most on the Roisin dubh project, as Jonas is currently living in London. Some of my favourite bands and musicians are:

Bruce Springsteen, Ryan Adams, Townes Van Zandt, Pink Floyd, Kyuss, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, U2, Jeff Buckley,

My second greatest interest and source of inspiration is books. I read a lot, practically everything from poetry to science. Lately I've studied a lot of antique and medieval literature, such as Homer, Vergil, and Dante.

Some of my favourite authors are:
Jeffrey Eugenides
Albert Sanchez Piñol
Elisabeth Kostova
Frances Hodgson Burnett
Euripides (Medea is fantastic)
Mons Kallentoft (Food noir gives a whole new approach to food, everyone should read it)
Homer (the oddysey translated by the genius Ingvar Björkesson)

Concerning faith and my beliefs:
I am a devoted christian, and I do believe in God and that His son Jesus Christ is our saviour.
But my beliefs may differ in some ways from the -let's call it- general doctrine of christendom today.
I do not believe that God is a trinity.
For you who don't know what the trinity is, here is a quick definition:
The trinity is the belief that God almighty is a three-in-one being; the father, the son, and the holy spirit/ghost. These three are equally powerful, almighty, and eternal. It also means that God almighty came to the earth in the flesh as Jesus from Nazareth, and still was in the heavens as the father and the holy spirit.

But to me, it just doesnt make sense.
I will dive in to that later, in another post. I promise.
My denomination is that I'm a Jehovah's witness. I have done a lot of research in religions and beliefs, and have found that what Jehovah's witnesses believe is the only true way to understand and worship the only true almighty God, Jehovah (An easy to pronounce version of the hebrew tetragrammaton JHWH), and to know the role of our King and saviour and only way to God, Jesus Christ (greek 'Iesous', aramaic 'Yeshua', hebrew 'Yehoshua', it meaning "JHWH is salvation).
As I said I will dive into this more later on, and give you some arguments on why the trinity is a false doctrine.

I do believe that the Bible is inspired by God to give us knowledge of His intentions, and prophecies concerning the ancient times, Jesus' coming and sacrificial death, and a lot of things concerning our times today, and what is about to happen. I also see it and try to use it as a guide through my everyday life, and apply its valuable principles on for example moral and how I lead my life.
I do think the Bible is the greatest book ever written, directly inspired by God, and a gift for people who thirst for truth and insight in what the Creator of the earth and all mankind has in store for them.

What I am aiming for in my life:
First and foremost being a true servant of the living God, Jehovah, and His master worker and Son Jesus Christ, and proclaim their message of peace and security.
Learning as much as I can through books and people, collecting thoughts and insights from here and there.
Being an overall nice person, with a positive attitude.
Evolving as a person.
reading as much as I can.
Learning as much about music as I can.

That's all for now, take care.

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-Albert Einstein-

Haze nr 1.

2009-02-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

A new blog, again... dont know how many I've started, and stopped.
But never one like this, where I'm gonna try to focus on insights and reflections.

The hour is late, but I want to share a little something a wrote a couple of nights ago:

In the full amour one is strong With the sword of the spirit we’ll fight off wrong With the shield of faith we’ll protect what soothes And make our claim with the gospel boots The helmet of salvation sure stands the test So does the chest plate of His righteousness The belt of truth with the sword so fine Reflects the beauty of the ones who shine

Take care, for now!

Love, M.